Awards
From your omniscient omnipotent and omnipresently impartial narrator, Butch...it's the
TRAVELLING IN ASIA AWARDS!
BEST MEAL: fresh wild mushroom and green dal bhaat, Tadapani, Nepal OR tomato, pumpkin and bean soup with fresh cornbread, CHame, Nepal.
BEST CUP OF GODDAMN COFFEE: It's a tie-- Macke's cowboy coffee or New Orleans Cafe, Kathmandu.
WORST TOILETS: China. And they're WAY out in front, err, back.
BEST ALCOHOL: Nepal's kukhri rum.
WORST DRIVERS: Tibet. When one guy can shut an entire town down with a passing maneuver, you know you are in truly unskilled hands.
"Best (worst?) psycho-insane driver who refuses to stop for a red light even when he nearly gets into a deadly car accident and is forced to back up, only to run the light again": Indians. (this category c/o Inder Nirwan
RUDEST PEOPLE: Indian teenaged boys, Varanassi, India
HOTTEST WOMEN: honourable mentions to the lovely ladies of Jaisalmer, India, but the award goes to...THE LADIES OF NEPAL. Keep on walkin', women-- we see the results in your legs.
HOTTEST MEN (c/o my female friends): Tibetan nomads. Usually wearing a pinstriped suit, sword, aviator shades, Converse, with braided red hair, a felt tophat, and riding motorbikes with prayer flags and fringes, there is no cooler style in the world.
NICEST PEOPLE: the Tibetans, hands down.
FASHION VICTIM: all Chinese.
GROSSEST MEN: working-class Indians. Note to Indian guys-- please keep it in your pants. Your metaphorical pants, too. Oh, and the 'staches...
the "I'VE GOT IT AND, GOD-DAMN IT, I'M GONNA USE IT" award: Asian drivers and their horns.
BEST OPENING LINE FOR A CONVERSATION: "Excuse me, sir, do you believe in aliens?
BEST NAMED AIRLINES (and the slogans they ought to have): Nepal.
-- First you got (i'm not making this up-- I took a flight with them) COSMIC AIR ("We'll take you ANYWHERE in the Universe, man").
-- Then there's Gurkha Air ("If we get hijacked we just execute the hijackers with our kukhuri knives. All our pilots are trained assassins.").
-- Then there is Buddha Air ("If the flight doesn't come, just accept this fact.")
--The official one: Royal Nepalese Airlines ("We're like the King-- sometimes not there when you need us")
--And of course Yeti Air ("We might not exist but try us anyway.")
PLAYER AWARD: Macke MasTacos. Despite the unsettled question of lowering one's standards, he got it, persisting even after being initally rejected.
FAVORITE DRINK: Ginger lemon soda
BEST ROAD: it's a tie-- Kodari->Lhatse (views), NJP->Darjeeling (signs and welcome change in climate).
LEAST COMPERHENSIBLE SOCIAL INTERACTION: the guy who in Jodhpur train station came up to me and stuttered "C-C-C-CLEAN? C-C-C-CLEAN?" at me, over and over.
FAVORITE PLACE: Bhaktapur, Nepal. If the Middle Ages were clean and peaceful, and they had cellphones, it would be this place.
TRAVELLING IN ASIA AWARDS!
BEST MEAL: fresh wild mushroom and green dal bhaat, Tadapani, Nepal OR tomato, pumpkin and bean soup with fresh cornbread, CHame, Nepal.
BEST CUP OF GODDAMN COFFEE: It's a tie-- Macke's cowboy coffee or New Orleans Cafe, Kathmandu.
WORST TOILETS: China. And they're WAY out in front, err, back.
BEST ALCOHOL: Nepal's kukhri rum.
WORST DRIVERS: Tibet. When one guy can shut an entire town down with a passing maneuver, you know you are in truly unskilled hands.
"Best (worst?) psycho-insane driver who refuses to stop for a red light even when he nearly gets into a deadly car accident and is forced to back up, only to run the light again": Indians. (this category c/o Inder Nirwan
RUDEST PEOPLE: Indian teenaged boys, Varanassi, India
HOTTEST WOMEN: honourable mentions to the lovely ladies of Jaisalmer, India, but the award goes to...THE LADIES OF NEPAL. Keep on walkin', women-- we see the results in your legs.
HOTTEST MEN (c/o my female friends): Tibetan nomads. Usually wearing a pinstriped suit, sword, aviator shades, Converse, with braided red hair, a felt tophat, and riding motorbikes with prayer flags and fringes, there is no cooler style in the world.
NICEST PEOPLE: the Tibetans, hands down.
FASHION VICTIM: all Chinese.
GROSSEST MEN: working-class Indians. Note to Indian guys-- please keep it in your pants. Your metaphorical pants, too. Oh, and the 'staches...
the "I'VE GOT IT AND, GOD-DAMN IT, I'M GONNA USE IT" award: Asian drivers and their horns.
BEST OPENING LINE FOR A CONVERSATION: "Excuse me, sir, do you believe in aliens?
BEST NAMED AIRLINES (and the slogans they ought to have): Nepal.
-- First you got (i'm not making this up-- I took a flight with them) COSMIC AIR ("We'll take you ANYWHERE in the Universe, man").
-- Then there's Gurkha Air ("If we get hijacked we just execute the hijackers with our kukhuri knives. All our pilots are trained assassins.").
-- Then there is Buddha Air ("If the flight doesn't come, just accept this fact.")
--The official one: Royal Nepalese Airlines ("We're like the King-- sometimes not there when you need us")
--And of course Yeti Air ("We might not exist but try us anyway.")
PLAYER AWARD: Macke MasTacos. Despite the unsettled question of lowering one's standards, he got it, persisting even after being initally rejected.
FAVORITE DRINK: Ginger lemon soda
BEST ROAD: it's a tie-- Kodari->Lhatse (views), NJP->Darjeeling (signs and welcome change in climate).
LEAST COMPERHENSIBLE SOCIAL INTERACTION: the guy who in Jodhpur train station came up to me and stuttered "C-C-C-CLEAN? C-C-C-CLEAN?" at me, over and over.
FAVORITE PLACE: Bhaktapur, Nepal. If the Middle Ages were clean and peaceful, and they had cellphones, it would be this place.
posted by Butch at 10:34 AM
1 Comments:
just when i thought I couldn't take another 'Top 10' !
If I was heading your way on travels, this would be a mighty handy list ... and useful too for those Sense of Humour Failure moments that Asia can throw in your lap. Happy Travels - can we have a top 100?
Post a Comment
<< Home